02 November 2015
Our Lee popped over for a couple of days last weekend. I haven't seen a lot of Lee since the Wedding, so it was good to see him. Lee is the only one who cuts my hair too, so at least I could get my hair sorted for the first time since the Wedding. Always good to see his cheerful face!
I suppose when I look back at those people who are no longer there, I can now, really see them for who they are. It does take a lot of hard work, working people out however. It doesn't matter what the hell other people say about those in your life, the opinions they have and the advice they give freely, unless you see the reality yourself, then nothing will ever change!
Natalee also popped round between jobs, so it was good to see thee both of them. Two familiar faces, who I don't see that often.
I may not see people that often, but it does make it even better when I do. Friendships never tend to change. especially when they are established, long standing friends as in the case of Lee.
My friendships with people have been changing, dramatically over recent times. I have learned much about people and the value of friends. People I regarded as friends, not that long ago, are now nothing but. You see, I have no qualms at off loading those I no longer feel are good for me. It really is a case of having too.
As time has moved on, sadly I have discovered many people I now no longer hold in any regard at all. When the going got tough, they just were not there, and as much as that hurt at the time, I am well able to deal with it now. Tough times really do maketh the man and I have changed out of all recognition over the last eight months.
I miss the innocent times of the early 1990's, before coming to University in Southampton. Stepping out in the World on my own was hard enough, without the times I grew up in. The legalities around homosexuality were still skewed against the gay community and in all honesty, if I could change my life and could have been born straight, I would jump at the chance.
The only saving grace in my life is of course my partner Jason. Through all the turmoil and upset over the years having the person you love by your side is the only important thing, no matter who you are. Even if you have little or no feelings, to feel the love of another is the most important thing in the world.