Poor judgement, poor judge of character, easily influenced, too trusting. The phrases I could use to describe me and my relationship with others. Under normal circumstances, it isn't as bigger problem as it could be, but when you are talking about, friendships and relationships with others of a dubious nature, you can see my predicament!
Lets talk about me, for a minute! When I meet someone, I do not prejudge. I don't question who they are, the words spoken from their mouths or their overly nice attitude and reactions. Point of fact I trust what they say and accept their words as true!
I never used to be like this. I would always question people, if not to their face, then within myself. I would never trust anyone without truly knowing them, but there was a period of time, all that changed! My guard lowered, my emotions played with, my protective instincts gone!
Once again, any names used in this piece are fictitious!
Pompous, arrogant, full of his own self importance, John, was all things to all men! A user of people and substances from day one, with the pretence of class and breeding, that was used to trap people into his disgusting World of self destruction, lies, insecurity and theft! When you first meet John, he can be a charmer, tell you what you want to hear and pretend to be a close friend akin to family! John was one of the most destructive people I had ever had the misfortune to meet! Sadly addled by medication, with guard dropped, you are easy prey for the likes of him!
I have always been proud of the fact that I tell the truth! John was a born liar, someone who had spent his entire life lying his way out of situations, to protect what? He had no dignity left, he had no money, having been through every pay day loan company going. People really can not stand the ground he walks on and he becomes so obsessed by individuals, that they literally run for the hills screaming!
His biggest failure is 'self delusion.' Just because you talk with a plumb in your mouth, it does not make you better than other people. A private education does not buy you perfect attributes, in the case of John, nothing could be further from the truth. His education only bought him false self belief. He had been a failure all his life. The more he was given, the bigger his failures became. Someone with so many addictions, that it quite simply had become part of his make up.
Lying to ones face, believing what he had said was the most laughable, comedic and completely insane experience of my life. I am a writer, my artistic licence allows me to sometimes embellish the truth, in order to capture an audience. The only audience John was trying to keep hold of, were those, not unlike himself. They did not care about the ins and outs of the stories in his head. This was about him justifying his appalling lies and digging himself out of yet another deep, dark hole.
As a peron, he has the lowest moral standing of anyone, I have ever met. He dealt drugs to survive, when he had used everything up! When he ran out of cash, drug money would surfice. Sadly an addict like him, can not deal drugs. He has to feed his addictions, so he cuts corners, thieves from others, sells dangerous substances and people know it! They laugh at him, treat him with distain and find him bombastic, grotesque and a liability!
He tried to destroy Jason and myself. He made claims against our relationship, he publically tried to destroy my character, by using mental illness against me. He wrote publically online about me having HIV. He sole money from us. In fact his last text message stated how dangerous he was and we should keep running, yet he still persisted, harassed and victimised! I have seen him continually attack others and it is obscene! The world would be better off without him!
This cretin is out of our life. If he dares to try and come back, I will destroy him. Yes vengeful, so what? I always will be. No one tries to destroy myself and my partner and those I love and expect me to welcome them back with open arms. I AM NOT STUPID!
Sadly I have seen John in a good state, a great friend and someone who helped us when we needed it. These times were rare and were probably done for his own reasons!