Not sure where to start here. I wanted to say something about 'Mother', Paul Judd. He was a big part of my life for a number of years, and died far too early. He was one of the most colourful, memorable and decent characters, the Southampton Scene has ever known. I know people of my generation will miss him, still. I personally think of him, most days, and do not have a bad word to say about him!
I met Mother in 1993, whilst going out with an ex partner. Being introduced to Paul, was like being at the opening night of a theatre production in the West End. Unforgettable, extraordinary and enduring. I'll always remember that first time. I was a young student, only just come out and had never seen anything like Paul in my life. I admit I was a bit scared, slightly anxious, but totally in ore of Mother.
I was told much about Mother, some bad, but mostly good. She was one of those figures you just never forget. She had her area on the top dance floor of The Magnum Club, where she danced and god help anyone who stood in her place. She, drunk, lots, loved her drink and was always dressed immaculately, in clothes, others could only aspire too. She looked fantastic. When I think of those times, back in the 1990s, memories of Mum, always come flooding back.
I was told much about Mother, some bad, but mostly good. She was one of those figures you just never forget. She had her area on the top dance floor of The Magnum Club, where she danced and god help anyone who stood in her place. She, drunk, lots, loved her drink and was always dressed immaculately, in clothes, others could only aspire too. She looked fantastic. When I think of those times, back in the 1990s, memories of Mum, always come flooding back.
Times were very different. The age on consent was still 21 years old for homosexuals, there was of course Section 28 and life on Southampton's scene was hard, very hard. I remember friends getting attacked as I was myself on several occasions. I remember having to break up fights regularly, as well as being the subject of fights on many occasions myself.
Despite the difficulties and confrontation, Mother still carried on Carrying on. She would wear what the hell she liked and didn't give a damn what others thought. Her opinion of everyone was screamed loudly from the roof tops and indeed, if she didn't like you, she would make that as plain as day. People loved and hated her for it, but whatever your opinion, she always commanded respect from most people!
Despite the difficulties and confrontation, Mother still carried on Carrying on. She would wear what the hell she liked and didn't give a damn what others thought. Her opinion of everyone was screamed loudly from the roof tops and indeed, if she didn't like you, she would make that as plain as day. People loved and hated her for it, but whatever your opinion, she always commanded respect from most people!
During that time, in the early 90s gay life was very different. We had things to fight for. Being homosexual, meant being unequal. Gay people seemed to be more fiesty and willing to defend others in similar positions. The Southampton Scene was a community. Most of us lived within walking distance of each other, in St Mary's, and would pop into each others houses, almost daily for tea and a chat.
You have to remember back then, that most of us had no real family to speak of, having been rejected by parents, or left under the cloud of hate and denial. Mother Judd, kind of filled that matriarchal position, that so many of us craved. Yes Paul enjoyed life like the rest of us, but she also gave some of the best advice, I had ever been given. She had experience that none of us had at that age, and she always used her familiarity to guide and instruct others. I have to say, I took her advice, totally on every occasion. That is why I am with Jason today. Mother told me to take the plunge into the unknown and always go with what my heart told me. She was right! Thanks to her we are still together today!
You have to remember back then, that most of us had no real family to speak of, having been rejected by parents, or left under the cloud of hate and denial. Mother Judd, kind of filled that matriarchal position, that so many of us craved. Yes Paul enjoyed life like the rest of us, but she also gave some of the best advice, I had ever been given. She had experience that none of us had at that age, and she always used her familiarity to guide and instruct others. I have to say, I took her advice, totally on every occasion. That is why I am with Jason today. Mother told me to take the plunge into the unknown and always go with what my heart told me. She was right! Thanks to her we are still together today!
It was deeply sad hearing of Mothers death. Personally she had gone through so much. She was attacked in her home, gun shots fired through the lounge window, lost the love of her life, yet continued to be there for others who needed her. She could be cruel, but she equally had a heart of gold. She would always lend money if you needed it and her house was always open to those who needed her.
A towering figure in Southampton, who was as fallible as the rest of us. She once told me, all she wanted, was to be loved and loved she was. Many of my generation, hold her in the highest regard. I personally miss those days, when life was hard, but friendships were strong. Without others knowing, she helped me out and was always there for a chat. I miss her dearly!
A towering figure in Southampton, who was as fallible as the rest of us. She once told me, all she wanted, was to be loved and loved she was. Many of my generation, hold her in the highest regard. I personally miss those days, when life was hard, but friendships were strong. Without others knowing, she helped me out and was always there for a chat. I miss her dearly!
RIP Mother!
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