The bloody medication I am on is making me quite sick to be honest and I wasn't really in the mood for doing anything. I always hate those first few weeks of bedding in new pills. It is a little strange, a little weird, abnormal, emotional and nasty. Quiet time, to write and think was in order. Also I am feeling my age, people keep calling me distinguished and it was time to make something of my face. Haggard and drawn is never a good look. Good intentions never work when planned!
I survived Friday, without a hitch. I barred the doors, locked down the house and hid from my weak mindedness. Wrote a bit, facebooked a bit, watched glee and discussed important work issues with Jason. Only one day left to conquer and I nearly made it.
Jay Greaves came round in the evening. I was a bit worse for wear when he got here anyway, so the slightest suggestion of doing something involving going out, was going to react against those initial thoughts of 'taking it easy'!
Vodka, my nemesis. never fails to kick my ass out the front door into that god awful place, that us homosexuals call home. Shots, lots of shots. They can't cause any more harm than what my adonis of a body is going through currently, so just go for it. Live life fast, to the fullest and fucking enjoy what the dear Lord gave us. So I did.
Mr Greaves can never take no for an answer, but then it never takes a lot to persuade me to go to that place that I love so dearly. After talking shop and sensible things for a bit, I just got a little squiffy and at some unearthly hour in the morning I forced myself to go with Jay. No sleep, feeling ill and a little disconnected, but feeling a little feisty, perfect for a few hours down 'there'.
As per usual Natalee was there, physically, though certainly not mentally. To say she was a bit drunk, would be an under statement, she was obliterated. The worst I'd ever seen her. A small suggestion of joining her in her indignity and I was sold. It did soften the blow of being back in that club. Funny enough, I always think the worst when I walk in that damn place, so I went along with her plan.
Usually I would have regrets after such occasions of lack of willpower and common sense, not this time. I actually looked better than our Natalie and that kind of made me feel better about my own black eyes, unwashed appearance and a top that was far too small for my portly appearance. Well Jay rushed me out the door and I just wasn't thinking.
No regrets! I have had such a shit time on these tablets, that I needed a break. Also two of the best friends to come out of this Southampton Scene were there. Great Aunty Maud and Twinky. Marc and Keith in these more straighter times, and Danny, Keith's other half. A bit of alright actually and will certainly keep Keith looking younger, or on her toes, whichever comes first. To see such friendly faces after the last few months was a great, positive boost. These aren't just ordinary friends, they are akin to family. We don't see each other as much as we should, but then life tends to get in the way sometimes. I also understand they did not like the people I was hanging around, as I can finally see myself, long after others voted with their feet. Good on ya, wish I had.
Had a ball, talking about the old times, boring poor Danny to death, but he seemed to take it in his stride. They tend to do that when they are nice people, a bit of a rare thing for me to have the pleasure of meeting in these volatile times. At that point we all just got a bit more trahed. It really did lift the weight from my shoulders for a bit
We all descended back to my humble abode afterwards and continued chatting until earlier today. It was drama free, not bitchy and an absolute pleasure. I forgot what those times were like. As Jason said to me earlier, we really forgot who our true friends were. That does bring a tear to my eye, but things can change, and they will.
I appreciated Keith's wise words of wisdom and I will of course take on board everything you say. Genuine care for myself was humbling. Equally it was fantastic to see Keith so happy and content. Obviously I am totally jealous that he has warn a lot better than me, but being a hairdresser, he has to rely on his looks more than I. In all honesty I could not care what I or anyone look like, but fare play, you are doing well my darling.
Happy memories, good times spent, the weekend before Dr Rock. Made things a lot easier. No regrets, despite my current disposition and terrible appearance. Thanks to all for a special weekend!
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