If I had known the truth of my life, would I have continued down the path I am on now. For this path, is part of the endless road of my life. It is the direction I have chosen and continue to choose! The word 'knowing' is an important word for me, As a Palmist for example, I believe that knowing ones fate or destiny is a bonus. It is a good thing. It helps us wake up to our own destiny and warns us of the consequences, should we fall or deviate along the way!
Knowing when enough is enough!
The games people play. Some people are game players, for no other reason, except pushing people to their limits. Over the years I have met many people. Every person is different. If I had known then, what I'd known now about them, I would have removed them from my life, or would I? Given my time again, I wouldn't. I have learnt so much, from keeping dubious characters around, I would not change that for the world.
Being pushed to ones limits, can also challenge us, to recognise trouble before it happens. Just how far can one should be pushed is up to us. How much can we take? How far should we go to accept that maybe it's time to say goodbye? Importantly, if one knows the real answer, should one allow users, abusers and pretenders the privilege or pretence of friendship and closeness!
As human beings, we are pushed to our limits everyday. In work, family and situations with friends or exams at School and University, as well as physical exercise and personal aims and goals! Most of us enjoy pushing ourselves to out limits, in order to cross a personal boundary, increase ones self esteem or challenge our abilities to their fullest.
If we know what we are doing, if we understand our direction, if we are sure of our own endeavours, that is a good thing. The problem arises, with other people's intentions. Reading people effectively. being aware of changes in body language, realising others objectives and seeing beyond their obvious facade is very important. Being able to empathise with others is a great skill, all of us have, but usually do not use, as we are taken in immediately by those with flawed or deficient intentions.
I have allowed myself to be taken in on a number of occasions, by many different people. All of them very different but each of them with very strong similarities. They all have awareness of others, can relate to them fully, but seek to use others failings, openness and welcoming nature as a door, to their heart, mind and giving disposition. Vulnerability and belief in others as well as open acceptance can be a real source of disaster for people like myself. As good people, with honourable intentions, we are often the ones used and destroyed by unscrupulous individuals, who only care for themselves.
I know many people reading this will see themselves in these words. It is important to recognise our failings, because we need to change, quickly and without hesitation, before change is forced upon us!
Often think we are a good judge of character, able to tell almost straight away, how good or how bad a person could be for us. Is that really the case though? Are we really that good a judge? I'm not so sure! I used to be one of the best experts on others. I would always act as an advocate, all the while, remaining emotionless and detached from people, until I was really sure of them or their intentions. Something happened to change that. They read me better than I read myself or them. They sought out the insecurities and used them to their advantage!
This is what I have learnt in recent times, My tips for 'knowing others', the ones I use now, every day:
1. Beware of people being overly nice: In fact if someone pretends to be everything I could have wished for in a friendship, I wont even take a second look. They are lying for their own advantage. I am just another tool for them to use on their journey!
2. The games people play: Game players, people who constantly test others, people who falsely believe that others are just like them, warped, deluded self belief or quite simply someone, messed up in the head, who can not accept that others, really do care, or honestly, make their way through life! Game players are the ones who pull at ones heart strings the most. one doesn't know, from one day to the next, just how they are feeling. They cover emotions and allow others to believe what they want to.
3. Body Language: One of the biggest give away's is body language. Truthful, open and happy people have very different body language to those at the opposite end of the scale. This is only an indicator mind you.. Manipulative people know how the falsely project a different person. Wearing ones heart on ones sleeve can be an open invitation to others, but it can also allow one to read real emotion and body language!
4. Advice from others: Be careful with this one! We all have friends we know and trust. Ask them about people. Have they heard anything about them? Word of mouth when meeting someone new is always a good first port of call. There are many occasions when I should have taken advice and listened to those who warned me about becoming too close to this person or that. As a rule, I take no notice of anyone. I am the last person to follow this example, but there has been times when I have listened and thank god I did!
This is an important one! If you don't know yourself, how do you expect to know others. Self awareness is probably the most basic of abilities to have, but often, through reasons beyond our control, we know longer have or want to know ourselves! If one has low self esteem for example, it becomes very easy for those with dubious intent to manipulate you and pretend to be someone they are not.
So how can you know yourself without having deluded self belief. Well, be honest with yourself. If you know you have faults, do not hide them from yourself and those close to you. Self analysis is also a good thing. It allows one to discover things that one never knew about oneself. There are many good personality tests on line, which are great for self awareness as well as just sitting down and asking others, to tell you, what they believe. Are you positive or negative, likeable or not, approachable or standoffish. The list goes on!
I often look back at old School, College and University reports. It is interesting to see how much or little we have learnt from them. Many of us still carry around those shortcomings, even today. We don't always learn from constructive criticism, in fact some of us disbelieve or do not want to hear the truth.
Finally tell the truth, or at least believe the truth about yourself. Self denial can be the path to failure. Admitting ones deficiencies can be an enlightening process, that allows us to deal with some very real, important and dangerous oversights. Once we deal with them, we can finally see past our own self importance and open our minds to those less desireable.
KNOWING IS ALWAYS THE KEY TO A HAPPY, FULFILLED AND SUCCESSFUL LIFE!