Let me say that I do not judge anyone for what they do. Do what you like, it does not matter to me. I do not care what you do, just so long as you do not effect me. I know many different types of people, from all walks of life and to be honest, I can equally command attention or have a reasonable conversation with any one of them.
As one gets to know someone, one tends to make judgements. In fact our judgement of others tends to happen during those first few moments, when one meets someone. A judgement is formed. We see those people again or not, depending on what our experiences with that person was like!
I hate others judging anyone normally. Everyone of my best friends would be nothing more than a distant memory, if I had judged them at the beginning. Many of those I know well, have 'issues'. I have met these people, either through hard times or times of similar interest, and occasions when I chose to spend time with like minded individuals, with a similar out look on life. I can't stress enough, that if I had judged these people from day one, they would not be my friends today!
I do not choose my friends for reasons of morality. If I did that I would be a hypocrite. As a person, I am no Saint. I have always led life to the fullest, lets say! I have always had people around me who stimulate, whatever is happening at the time. I enjoy the company of those who enjoy what I enjoy.`
If I am in the mood for a party, I choose party people. if I want time out, I choose those who also want the same. Different people, for different moods, at different times. All distinct, individual, unique in their own way and all of whom, I hold in as high regard as any other. Everyone is different, everyone deserves equal treatment, everyone has something to offer others!
So is there actually a time we should judge others? I can really only talk from my own experience and I can safely say yes there is. If we have had experience, good or bad, of someone then we can at least form a judgement based on experience. I try not to judge on first meeting someone. Apart from observing the way someone looks, acts and dresses, their initial reactions and speech, as a matter of course, I tend not to overly judge anyone!
Currently, I still have fears for others. Friends I have known for a while, are slipping back to their old ways. Addiction problems and associations with dubious characters, as well as the misconception that certain individuals are their friends are a real problem, not only for them, but also a warning for me. IT CAN NOT HAPPEN!
I can only speak for me here. For me the unthinkable, going backwards, can not and will not happen. Now here is where 'judging' comes into it. Should I judge others for failing, falling back and destroying their lives again. Sadly yes, I have too. It is far too dangerous for me to have people in my life who are dangerous. It must nearly be time to say goodbye, as hard as that will be. I have to think of me and my life first. They should do the same and think of theirs!
In the end, after I had removed people I was left with a small, but good group of friends. I suppose all of us had the same thing in common. A dislike of certain individuals and a desire to move on. Now here is the problem. Some of those I know are falling back to their old ways. They are on the way to destroying themselves again. As individuals, they have free will, can determine their own destiny and have every right to ruin their lives if they want. I am also an individual, with free will and if I want to move on I will.
Sadly I am passing judgement again. It is for purely selfish reasons. I do not want to end up down a path, that very nearly destroyed me in the past. I do not want friendships with those who on self destruct and make it their mission to destroy themselves and others. Southampton is a big enough City, for myself and others to avoid each other if we need too. I do not have to associate with anyone if I don't want too.
I have to do all of these things and judge any person who is or seeks to come into my life, If I didn't judge people any more, I could end up where I was, all those months ago!
It looks like the time has come to move forward again. Onwards and upwards! I do not want to see or deal with other peoples issues, when I still have some of my own. I don't want to fight their battles, when I have to fight for myself. Finally I do not want to go down that destructive path, while I have any shred of dignity left. I want you to sort out your lives and problems and leave me to do the same!
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