Jay is a dear friend, who has helped me out, as a carer, over a very traumatic period in my life. Without him, my survival, would have been in doubt. I regard Jay as my son, adore him and can't thank him enough for all his help at this time. He has given me back my life, offered security and become an integral part of my life. People should be aware, that it is rare you find someone, so selfless, honest and truth in your life. I am truly grateful for all he has done and hope to one day repay him, however I can!
Love you Jay, and thank you. You words mean more than anything I have written here. I will always remember them!
I haven't changed Jay's words, spelling or grammar. It is as he wrote them!
The long anticipated day is drawing ever closer; before we get to carried away and marry these two off already I think we should take a look back at their path that have led them to tonight The Stag do; it's going to be just a few drinks in the local bar (Yeah Right), Of course these guys aren't perfect; but who are we to say what perfection is.
I'm going to start from today and work my way backwards, Darren & Jason have been on a journey recently that was not a choice for them, Now, now they are slowly growing stronger with everyday, but if you were to see these guys in there debilitated state as little as 4 weeks ago you probably would have cast aspersions, assumed they were abusing drink or had a very hard paper round when they were younger, there was a point in a few weeks before when these two amazing people nearly gave up, Upset and broken by a tormentor that can't seem to be stopped, I won't go into too much detail but these guys have battled for the position they are in now, It's been a hairy 6 months, Never knowing if I was going to receive a phone call to tell me that one of them had lost the will to fight on or even worse, but just to reiterate they are stronger now. If we go back 8 weeks both Darren and Jason were confused, upset, Left in a state of abyss, no answers. It practically drove them stir crazy, Sitting at home not knowing what was happening, Why it was happening or how long it had been going on, It was a horrible time for the pair of them and for those who visited them, I can a sure you it was a concerning time, To see two people so close to you broken, and burnt out, but you have to burn to be able to rise from the ashes.
If we go back nearly 3 months now, When half truths were inflicted and the riddler came in, At this time there was alot of anguish, uncertainty, The boys handled the best way they could, They coped, I'm not saying it was a perfect scenario, Just read back to the previous paragraph, This was the start of a slippery slop. Again let me state, These two are stronger now; Much Much Stronger, They have fight, a purpose, it isn't the end for them!
Now I'm going to point you in the direction that is Easter, Yeah, A long time ago, April, This is the time it started to become a bumpy ride for Darren (before the 'Half truths' were stamped into his life), His illness, which can be compared with an inner demon, something that you can't see, but is there, lurking and striking without prejudice, Doesn't matter what time, who you are with or where you are, mental illness is a monster. Easter has now been branded into Darren's brain as a 'Relapse event' and i will explain why, I had been invited round Darren and Jason for Dinner in the evening and stayed for a drink, as the the evening became night Darren changed in personality, In behaviour, even in the way he moved, He stood up and appeared very dazed, like he didn't know where he was, I can only liken hid behaviour to that of an elderly gentleman with dementia, I asked Darren to sit down, He slumped on his sofa, So I moved some cushions and pushed him into a laying position, Jason was panicked, I asked J to get a glass of water. As Jason left the room what I can only assume to be the first of many relapses occurred, Darren became instantly clammy to touch, He was rubbing the side of his head with his Knuckles, then came the most distressing part of all. Darren repeatedly punched himself in the temple, in the ear and up the side of his head, This was something I have never had to deal with before, Despite being a carer working with a selection of mental health disabilities, I managed to restrain Darren from hitting himself anymore. After 5 or 6 strong blows to the head, I was well on my way to being drunk and had no idea what to do, I asked Jason to help me move Darren up to his bed, We didn't manage to make it that far, We got up to the drawing room at the top of the stairs where we sat Darren on the sofa, with a glass of water and plenty of pillows near by incase the sudden torent of combo shots to the head happened again.
From here Darren deteriorated further
I couldn't tell you how many rapid cycles Darren went through that evening but it was heart wrenching and exhausting to watch. I won't go too much further into this as I'm sure you can see the picture.
Now on to March, This is the time being unmedicated became too much, Daz needed time to relax recouperate, but of course if you read from the beginning you know he didn't achieve the goal of adjustment time.
Now I'm going to jump to a fantastic event for me which in my views became a worrisome time for Darren, I applied to become a manager at his place of work, Running a shop is something I have never done, I ran bars, iv been a carer, worked in various restaurants but never a shop, it's an arduous task, trying to keep the team happy, maximising profit, keeping the store rammed with stock, loads of different cycles all left down to me, I will say that I struggled, I relied heavily on Darren and other managers when I first started, I wanted to do my best and beyond, to make Darren proud, as I was a member of his team before I applied. I wanted to show the company what I could do, So Darren received praise, this didn't happen, because I relied on Darren. I was getting him into trouble, He wasn't aloud to attend my store, which was a huge disappointment because he played such a huge role in my success, I'm not going to blow my own trumpet however I went into that shop like a hurricane and had it turned out the way I wanted, in know time, it may have taken a few 80 hour weeks staying till gone 11pm at night, but I had my shop and it's down to Darren, I can't thank him enough for giving me the opportunity.
Now let's head to happier times. Socially no more work, i had a pretty awesome Christmas, so did he from what I know, he shared his home with a few close friends, one in particular who happens to be his DSM.
In my true Greavesie fashion, I am going to end this recollection here, I should be getting ready to go out for their stag do but instead I'm attached to my phone, blogging my series of events to share with you all.
I want to leave you with a thought, Although it may be fun, exciting or informative, remember that when reading 'The bare naked truth blogger' he is human being, You read events written from all the different stages of the monster that Bipolar is.