I moved my head, slightly to one side, a look of sorrow at what I was witnessing, engulfed my face. I was truly feeling her pain, I was experiencing her disconnection with emotions, her lack of empathy, her skewed sense of what was right and wrong. I felt what she was feeling, for a brief moment, I was her and everything she stood her. I was her victim, yes, but I was also understanding who she was and what she had done to me.
I took a step backwards, then another and another, once again I could see her face. I said nothing, I was challenging her willpower, her sense of 'knowing', her ability to react to this situation. A situation, bought about by her continued bullying, harassment, her vindictive nature. I wanted her to buckle, I needed her to realise her failings, whilst all the time remaining calm, without attack and without offering her the excuse she needed to act as she always acted, with anger and violence. I was aware, that at any time, she could turn into a psychotic ball of rage, inside I was shaking uncontrollably. I showed no fear outwardly. I had been cowed for the last time, this was 'End Game' for me, do or die, bite or get bitten.
A dual, even a mating ritual. Two colleagues, weighing each other up, just how far would each one go. Misjudge the situation, and events could turn threatening, even dangerous. That shell of a woman I observed earlier was adapting to the situation. In her head she was re-evaluating what was happening, what she was planning, ever quickly, what she could do. Her controlling mastery, was always the key to her success. She was now trying to control a situation, that was alien to her. She had little ability, except the power to manipulate others and situations. That she did very well.
Then came that smile! The ever present, false, sickly sweet grin, that she always produced, at the drop of a hat to defuse a situation and mimic the empathy, only real people knew how to feel. Feelings can only be used successfully, when you can truly take on board the feelings of those who surround you. I had been here before, I had seen this fake smile on numerous occasions. I was fully aware of the chain of events she had already, quickly, put to task in her head. Plans that changed by the second, so she could comfortably regain control!
This time I smiled back. The smile became a beam, the beam became laughter, full on booming, unabated laughing. I was completely, well and truly, without understanding why, laughing in the face of a mad woman. A woman who could attack at any moment, as she had done so many times before. If you asked me now, I would have no idea why I was acting in such a strange way. I just don't know. Something inside of me just flipped, just like the switch on a fuse box. Pushed upwards, resulting in a sudden rush of power, causing an extreme, illogical reaction.
Her condescending smile dropped. She looked confused, almost afraid. Then it happened. . Her fists clenched, tighter and tighter. As I continued to laugh, from the corner of my left eye, I noticed those fists, getting darker and darker, as rage rushed from her body, flowing like a torrent into that closed, clenched hand. Without warning, her arm raised above her waist, one step forward and she punched me square on in my still laughing face. As a took a faltering step backwards, I continued to laugh, ever louder, . In turn she reacted, with complete predictability, again she struck my face with her fist.
blood poured from my mouth, leant against a wall, I continued to laugh in the face of the devil. As I laughed, she blew on her smarting hand. For me, there was no pain. No more, was I going to feel any pain inflicted upon me, by her! I no longer felt anything, but contempt and sorrow for her sad, disturbing mind!
'Might as well hit me again, go on, just hit me, as hard as you like'........