This week has been great for me. My medication is working and we both took the opportunity to bury some hatchets, lay some old bones to rest and above all, to say goodbye to those who we have spent time with over the years. I don't mind telling you, I felt rather nervous walking through the doors, but that is because, I haven't seen people, in some cases, for two or more years. I need not of worried, everything was cool. No problems or anything.
A lot has happened to myself and Jason in recent times, more than most people would ever cope with. Any drama, argument, stupid row and pointless grudge, pales in comparison to where we are today. I am not going to carry on ignoring people, during our final few months. I mean what is the point. I have spent a life time falling out with people, most of the time, for no good reason. Granted, there has been some extremely awful situations, but once again, I can not stress enough, how little they really affected my life. Big life changing situations, literally can change a person. With me, it has allowed me to reassess my whole life and come up with my own conclusions. Point blank, it does not matter a jot.
There were some very memorable times. Times I still laugh about now. When my memoirs are written, these last two years alone, will play a big part, because of their significance for us both. Good or bad, I will never forget our final few years here in Southampton!
As people, we all hurt inside to differing degrees. All of us experience pain in very different ways. I have never really dealt with emotions well. I suppose I was bought up in a rather emotionless environment. As children, learning from our families, if we are not shown empathy in the expected way, we will of course find it hard to express ourselves, equally as well. Children learn from their parents, not the other way round. I did what I knew, rightly or wrongly, that is my major failing. My only defence, is a child rarely questions the authority, of those, they believe to be wiser. As I have learnt over the years, the older generation, are not necessarily wiser, in fact the opposite is true!
It was easy seeing faces from the time before now, for they were never the real, perverse reasons for our failures. Of course, when one enters a lions den, one always has choices. Fight, prey, get eaten or negotiate with the damn thing. On Wednesday, we just chose to forgive and forget. Actually, in all honesty it was absolutely wonderful to see some old faces, because they do in the main seem happy with their lives. Strong friendships, mutual understanding and enjoyable times are still there and I was made fully aware of that. It was good to see bonds as close as ever, but it was also clear that bonds have also been broken and rightly so. Some people use other peoples lives to fullfill their own desire for mischief and mayhem. Luckily, that was absent on Wednesday!
It always amazes me, that when a bloke puts on a dress and a bit of slap, he immediately settles into the role, that all women play every day of their lives. It's almost liberating.
Up tight people, who just carry on through life, living their shallow little existence, unable to see beyond the next midlife crisis or family drama, just make me want to get up and go.
My life has never been normal in the conventional sense of the word and clever people with ulterior motives pick up on that and use it to their advantage. Everyone should learn to relax and enjoy what surrounds them. Take in the beauty of life, The wonders that surround us and do what you feel is right for you!
Love my friends!
It was wonderful to see baby Imogen. Thanks to Kirsty for bringing her over. The more we see of the little one, before we go, the better, I still haven't got the knack for holding babies and never will. Never the less, it is wonderful to be playing a small roll in Imogens first few months. You will have to keep us informed of the little ladies progress. I've never really wanted a baby, until now, she is the sweetest!
Happy 25th Birthday Jack!
Many happy returns to Dear Jack Yallop. Jack is one true gentleman. He has helped Jason and I out, beyond what we could have ever wished for. It is sad we did not get to know him much better, but I know, just what Mr Yallop is made of. Integrity and honesty are his assets, that he will take with him in all he does.
Thanks for being there for us. I can't say often enough, just how much I will miss you. Many thanks for taking care of Jason as well. It gives him faith back in people, when he needed it most!
Finally, thanks to gay son Jay, for our trip to Hospital, It got me out the house and allowed me to stock up on those King Size Condoms!
Jay does 'Virgin Bride' well. Actually not so virginal, maybe more 'Scary, you really do look like a woman', with effect. I reckon it's her 5 O Clock shadow, ginger hair and feminine bone structure. It also helped that Jay didn't have the make up of a Drag Queen and at times looked quite maternal, in a strange sort of way.
I believe a friend of his, Nikki, was celebrating her 25th Birthday. Jay was marrying a gorgeous Lesbian called Jordan and any old excuse to put on a dress and ginger wig. Funny he was the spitting image of someone, though I forget who at the moment.
Promoting Wedding Diversity!
All Wedding's are equal, but some are more equal than others.
As people who read my blog are fully aware, I am the Worlds biggest fan of DIVERSITY, in all its forms. In fact the more diverse the better. This is the year 2015. This Country can do without the hooligan, vindictive nature of generations past. Gay Capri, is a very cosmopolitan household. We accept everyone here, minus, those who judge and lie about others. Keep your outdated views to yourself!
I love the way, the people who surround myself and Jason, know how to have fun and enjoy life. I am so happy to be around creative friends, with soul and an outlook on life that differs from the norm. Normal is what we all crave, but will it really make us fulfilled!
So much red hair in my life!
Me and our Jay!
Saw a few old faces. Most of which I haven't seen for a very long time. Awkward and difficult circumstances, can be forgotten. Taking hatred to our new life, would be inappropriate and would just leave us with even more bad memories!
Kirsty and Jamie popped over to pick up some items for Kirsty's new flat. A television and some tables. It's quite handy moving away, when you have friends moving into their first home. As long as some of our things are put to good use, all the better. Not the sort of things I will miss anyway, just things, as they say!
It was an absolute delight to see an old friend on Wednesday afternoon as well. Fiona. Fiona, who I haven't seen since my relapse, always brings a smile to my face. She is Manageress of Marthas. One of the better charity shops, where all the money goes locally. I dropped off some clothes for her, as I continue to clear out Gay Capri.
I was pleased to see her. It was a relief to see a friendly face, after the last six months. As usual, she was beavering away, doing good for others. My local charity shop, in Bedford Place. If you have anything to donate, Fiona will always offer a friendly face!
I also wanted to say a big thank you to Nev, Manager of Cloud 9, for coming over during these last few days. It was a pleasure to have you here. Thanks again for all your kind words!
Also thanks to Julie Adams for some fantastic advice, as ever. You know how much that means to me!