
I wanted to write a bit about morals today. Not religious, Ten Commandment, like morals, just normal every day moral behaviour. Don't get me wrong, there are, within those Ten Commandments, morals we should adhere too, of course there is, but there are many more, that all of us should practice as decent human beings.
Despite not talking to my family, I have to say they always instilled morality in me as a matter of course. When all is said and done, I come from a decent family, who bought me up the best way they could. Without them, I'm sure I would have viewed life very differently. My father was a Socialist. He believed strongly in helping those less fortunate and made sure I knew it. He would go out of his way to express views on everything from Benefits to the rights of the disabled and ethnic minorities. For those reasons I can not fault my father.
He instilled in me a 'Moral Compass', something I could use in my everyday life, to insure that the path I was following was the right one. In my youth I campaigned for The Anti Nazi League, with my then partner at the time Martin. We went on demonstrations, in order to protect and fight for rights, as well as showing our revulsion at different campaigns of hatred. This was the early 1990s, before any minority group had any rights, that they enjoy today. There was a lot of violence against homosexuals as well as much more against ethnic minorities. I myself was attacked on many occasions for being gay and psychologically, it destroyed part of me inside. Just because I am gay, it doesn't make me any less a person. I was born that way, as were black people and those with challenging disabilities, that they had fought all their lives to overcome.
Despite not talking to my family, I have to say they always instilled morality in me as a matter of course. When all is said and done, I come from a decent family, who bought me up the best way they could. Without them, I'm sure I would have viewed life very differently. My father was a Socialist. He believed strongly in helping those less fortunate and made sure I knew it. He would go out of his way to express views on everything from Benefits to the rights of the disabled and ethnic minorities. For those reasons I can not fault my father.
He instilled in me a 'Moral Compass', something I could use in my everyday life, to insure that the path I was following was the right one. In my youth I campaigned for The Anti Nazi League, with my then partner at the time Martin. We went on demonstrations, in order to protect and fight for rights, as well as showing our revulsion at different campaigns of hatred. This was the early 1990s, before any minority group had any rights, that they enjoy today. There was a lot of violence against homosexuals as well as much more against ethnic minorities. I myself was attacked on many occasions for being gay and psychologically, it destroyed part of me inside. Just because I am gay, it doesn't make me any less a person. I was born that way, as were black people and those with challenging disabilities, that they had fought all their lives to overcome.
When I came out, as gay, things were very different. There were no laws in place to protect me, no one to talk too and no understanding from the world at large. I was left to cope with my status, the threat of AIDS and little knowlege about sex in general. Even sex education was sadly lacking, so there was no hope for understanding at all. I believe, we as adults, have a moral duty to teach our children about sex, from as early an age as possible. I truly believe it would and indeed will prevent future generations from suffering as we did. Teenage pregnancies should in time full, and as a community of individuals, we would find the subject of sex, much easier to handle. Only time will tell if I am right, and I wont be around to see it.
So what are morals? I believe we should all live by a set of rules, that keep ourselves and others safe from harm. Everyday you hear of someone who has been hurt, for no other reason than another persons gain. Just recently there was an acid attack in Southampton, in Guild Hall Square. Acid thrown in the face of a young girl. Apparently there was no motive for the attack, and that girl will be scared for life. Lets suppose for a minute, her attackers had not been caught and we knew who they were, should be tell the relevant authorities? even if they were family members? Well of course we should. We can not pick and choose when to dip in and out of our own moral compass. Neither should we chop and change it, to suit our own needs at any given time. Follow those rules, no matter what the consequences. |
A friend of mine recently contacted me for some advice. Like myself and Jason she had been going through a rough time, so much so, it had made her ill. At first she put it down to her own inabilities and growing illness. When she explained deeper to me, the circumstances behind her illness and current situation, I was shocked at the things I heard. These were not accidents, bad luck or poor judgement, this were a systematic campaign of hatred, bought about by the colour of her skin and nature of her illness. It didn't matter what she said or did, no one was listening to her, she was becoming deeply unwell, through stress and was on the verge of collapse. Other people knew of her predicament, yet did nothing, nothing at all. Whether it was out of fear or inertia, they were unwilling to do the right thing.
Like her, we are good people. She just happened to have a superior, who took a dislike to her and she suffered dramatically as a result. I have seen a fun loving, happy, stable young lady turned into a wreck of her former self. This upset me when I saw her. I didn't know what to do or say under those circumstances. I could only offer her advice, based on my own experiences in life. When I last spoke to her, she had resigned from her role. In my opinion that was a mistake, but completely understand why she did it. After all there is only so much we can take as human beings.
If she had sought the right advice at the time, had not been fobbed off and had really looked into what was going on and did her research, I feel things could have been different. None of us know how we are going to react under the worst of circumstances. If someone had spoken up on her behalf, exposed the lies and told the truth, no matter what the consequences, things may well have been very different. To find out that your best friend had gone through so much, with little or know help, is deflating at the very least
Like her, we are good people. She just happened to have a superior, who took a dislike to her and she suffered dramatically as a result. I have seen a fun loving, happy, stable young lady turned into a wreck of her former self. This upset me when I saw her. I didn't know what to do or say under those circumstances. I could only offer her advice, based on my own experiences in life. When I last spoke to her, she had resigned from her role. In my opinion that was a mistake, but completely understand why she did it. After all there is only so much we can take as human beings.
If she had sought the right advice at the time, had not been fobbed off and had really looked into what was going on and did her research, I feel things could have been different. None of us know how we are going to react under the worst of circumstances. If someone had spoken up on her behalf, exposed the lies and told the truth, no matter what the consequences, things may well have been very different. To find out that your best friend had gone through so much, with little or know help, is deflating at the very least
No one has the right to take away someones dignity, career or in the worst case, their life, because it suits them to do so. When one gets away with sheer bloody murder for so long, brushed under the carpet, left unchecked and unseen, things will get bad enough, that others lives become in danger. Suicides, illness, inaction, denial, counter denial and nothing ever gets done and the situations become untenable. Those who allowed this to happen to a friend of mine are nothing more than the person who carried out this campaign of, well lets just say bullying, for so long. One day soon, it will come back to haunt everyone of them and I hope it does!
This now brings me onto the subject of bullying. The one thing I hate more than anything else in the world. My own ex CEO, Dame Barbara Stocking was bullied when she worked for the NHS and we know just how hard it can make our lives. If you see bullying, hear of it, then STOP it. If you have never been bullied before, you will not understand the implications behind it. You will have no idea of the pain and indignity that a victim lives with and you will never understand how they feel. Just know this, you have a moral duty to end it, because that is what decent people do. People with integrity, stand up and are counted. I would like to think I could be that person, we all do. However none of us can say for sure, not knowing the facts behind each case of harm caused to another.
When a work place becomes the hunting ground of a bully, life becomes very different. Everyday becomes a nightmare, the workforce become strained, sickness soars and profits fall. I was hoping my friend would ride it through, to an acceptable conclusion for her, but when you have been through so much, in her case for five years, enough is enough. Your health becomes the priority, you just want the nightmares to stop and start your life again.
It takes a tough person to stand up to a bully, she wasn't. You have to be prepared for whatever is thrown your way, but what is the alternative? Well if you allow this behaviour to continue, long term, a culture of bullying and harassment will take route, become entrenched and be very difficult to overcome. You see this happening across many sectors every single day. Someone like me, who has suffered at the hands of bullies for being gay and learned to read the signs, as well as, hopefully learning from that experience, is lucky enough, stubborn enough and determined to stop it. If I could have helped I would have done. Everybody needs somebody and when everyone else around you is doing nothing, you have to stand up and be counted!
It takes a tough person to stand up to a bully, she wasn't. You have to be prepared for whatever is thrown your way, but what is the alternative? Well if you allow this behaviour to continue, long term, a culture of bullying and harassment will take route, become entrenched and be very difficult to overcome. You see this happening across many sectors every single day. Someone like me, who has suffered at the hands of bullies for being gay and learned to read the signs, as well as, hopefully learning from that experience, is lucky enough, stubborn enough and determined to stop it. If I could have helped I would have done. Everybody needs somebody and when everyone else around you is doing nothing, you have to stand up and be counted!